It Almost Broke Me!
Oct 19, 2021
I’ve been on the mountain for over 2 ½ hours
Climbing over 1760 feet and down 1700 feet total gain.
On a ski resort starting at 7,000 ft elevation
Slopes from 36% - 48% (very steep)
16 obstacles behind me!
I’ve completed 14
Failed 2
I’m thirsty
Cold
Hungry
Out of energy
I mean way out of energy
I can see the finish line.
Ingrid says “No Way”
As we approach the Bucket Climb
The hurdle we need to complete
Carry an 80 lbs. bucket up 250 feet
mostly 40% angle
Turn around and walk back
I quietly agree with Ingrid
Let’s just move on
We can get the next three and be done.
It will take us 5 more minutes.
I have no idea how long it will take me to climb up and back down again.
Maybe 15 minutes & can I even do this?
The dominant thought in my head is
“There is no way!”
this thought connects to another
“You’re too tired”
and another
“F!”
then slight Fear
Then sadness
Then confusion
This is how my brain works
It suckers me into self-doubt
By planting a seed
Not too big
Discreet, inconspicuous, quiet, low-key
Hardly visible
But there!
And then the next thought emerges
My body kicks in to assist with an emotional charge
First a burst of adrenaline
My brain is alerted
Immediately labels this energy as fear
Now the brain reevaluates it and connects the observation
To the story
Then the emotion
Then the need to avoid pain
And it does this over and over until it reaches it’s objective
AVOID DANGER!
Insert what Phil Stutz & Barry Michaels call “Part X” —a force whose only purpose is to stop you from reaching your full potential.
Now I’m in a slight panic
The story is getting thicker
The obstacle is feeling harder
Looking more impossible
And then I realize
something I now say to myself
“It doesn’t matter what I say or think.
I’m going to do this”
I look at Ingrid and say,
“I’ll see you in a little”
I walk to the obstacle
Pick up an 80lbs. bucket
Swing it to my shoulder
chuckle
And start walking
Up!
It’s only Up!
Loose dirt
Wobble rocks
At least a 40% grade
Heavy breathing,
moans and groans of the other Spartan’s
After about 20 steps
I’m DONE!
Nothing in the tank!
as I drop the bucket to the ground
I can feel every decision I will have in the future
The weight of what I want to do with my life
The sadness of not accomplishing.
The misery of not achieving.
The despair and grief of an unfulfilled life.
But, I have no energy!
I’m too fat
I don’t have what it takes
I’m not a Spa….
My spirit had enough
It said take a breath
Get Curious
What is the thought you want to have?
the immediate thought - “It doesn’t matter what I say or think,
I’m going to do this”
I am willing to die here!
I’m willing for this to be the last thing I ever do.
I pick up the bucket
I turn towards the top of the mountain
Start walking up
Exhausted
Cold
hungry
I count the steps
10 – 1, 2, 3…. 10
rest 10
I say 15 steps this time
1, 2, 3…..15
then 20
I do this over and over
Resting
Encouraging the other Spartans to come with me just 20 steps
Come on let’s go
30 steps!
We are Spartan’s
They pick up their buckets too
They are Broken
Exhausted
Tears
But we all have FIRE!
Trying desperately to catch my breath
In through the nose
In through the nose
In through the nose
I pick up the bucket again and again
Rest again and again
Then I see the top
The turn to go down
I think I can do it in 30 steps
I pick up my bucket
It feels like the weight of all my past failures
And the promise of my future – at the same time.
I say to myself -
Today I leave my past on the mountain
And pick up my future
I take my first step and almost slip
As I catch myself
I say hoorah! Yeah!
Let’s GO!
Exactly 28 steps later I’m at the top
Turning down and walking to the end.
A few minutes later I make it to the end and put the bucket down
Bucket Carry – Conquered
3 more obstacles to go….
Live with Passion, Rise Beyond Your Limits & Overcome Anything
Men! You don't have to do this to have a huge breakthrough
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San Diego, CA
Men's Breakthrough Challenge
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Live with Passion, Rise Beyond Your Limits & Overcome Anything
Men! You don't have to do this to have a huge breakthrough
Join Me on November 6
San Diego, CA
Men's Breakthrough Challenge
MensBreakthrough.com
